Mar
21
The Ten Commandments of Predawn Running
Photo Credit: By Trailer screenshot, from DVD The Ten Commandments, 50th Anniversary Collection Paramount, 2006 (The Ten Commandments trailer) [Public domain], via Wikimedia Commons
Hat tip to Steven Lowe on Copyblogger for the idea.
In the dark times when all seemed to busy to afford thou the luxury of thy running, all seemed lost. Poor misguided souls wandered aimlessly trying to fit in their running amid all their other commitments.
Then came forth in the darkness a new idea. No more would running be constrained to the light of day. It would now shift to expand the hours available, and a new species of Predawn Runner would emerge to gain advantage from this additional time.
These are the 10 Commandments of Predawn Running. Bind them to your mind, let them flow through your legs…
1. Thou shalt not skimp on thy warm-up and cool-down
Thou shalt not yield to the temptation of more sleep by slackening on thy injury prevention techniques, lest thou becomest strictly a predawn core- and leg-exerciser.
2. Thou shalt not hit thy snooze button
Thou shalt avoid hitting thy snooze button regardless of the hour, employing whatever techniques thou find necessary to beat back thine mortal enemy.
3. Thou shalt not make unnecessary predawn noise before leaving thy house
Thou shalt honor thy sleeping partner by preparing thy accessories the night before. Thou shalt walk as if on water through thy house in performance of thy pre-run routine.
4. Thou shalt not dwell on thy smartphone or laptop other than to check thy weather
Thy smartphone shall have but one use, and the number of the uses shall be one. Not two, not zero, but one. If thy smartphone have more than one use, thou shalt distract from thy purpose and thou must recognize thy “stalling”.
5. Thou shalt not forget to wear thy reflective gear
Thou shalt not worship the false idol of ninja running and forget to wear they reflective gear, including thy headlamp to illuminate the path of predawn redemption. Thou shalt observe all safe practices for predawn running.
6. Honor thy fellow predawn runners and offer thy greeting
Thou shalt only shatter the peace of the predawn by offering thy greeting to thy fellow predawn warriors. Thou shalt share the goodness of existence in this godly time, and thus carry forth thy light to shine upon the path of others.
7. Honor thy breakfast and keep it holy
Thy breakfast shall be not rushed, and shall be enjoyed after thy predawn run. Thou shalt burn more fat and build greater glycogen-depletion tolerance by fasting before thy run. And a hearty breakfast may help thou losest thy weight.
8. Thou shalt not use thy predawn running as an excuse to be tired and cranky
Thou shalt bear a pleasant demeanor regardless of the time of thy morning rising. Thou shalt carry forth the good spirits of predawn running throughout thy day and serve as a beacon of fitness and energy for thy fellow souls.
9. Remember the weekend day, to keep it for sleeping in
Even thy Lord rested on the seventh day. Thou is no more capable than thy Lord and must allow for no less rest.
10. Thou must love thy predawn running
Thy predawn running was created to bring health, joy, and peace to thy life. If thou finds stress in thy predawn running, then thou must explore catharsis through running a different time of day, until thou rediscovers thy joy for this sport.
Go forth now and take these commandments as thy guide, and wander no more in the wilderness.
